The Paradox of Vulnerability
If your work culture treats vulnerability as a weakness, you just found a glass ceiling.
I’ve seen what authority, power, and stoic conformity can do to normal, kind people. The affect on others is especially persuasive if it comes wrapped in a “Do it for the kids” message. On the surface, someone under this spell can be charming, energetic, and inspiring to reach high standards of achievement. They’ll settle for conformity and hope the data builds commitment over time.
They will push others and themselves to do more, be more, to reach higher. For those that do not conform, they will either be beat into submission with the mission, or invited to pursue their career somewhere else. Get on the train because it’s leaving with or without you. This is often promoted as bold, confident leadership.
What happens if to take this person out from under this spell and give them permission to Connect with team members has unique human beings? To invite them to participate in the process that wants what is the domain of leaders alone? What if they are allowed and encouraged to build upon the talents of everyone on the team instead of simply expecting them to conform? Who can help them break through this glass ceiling of “us and them” that keeps everyone boxed in?
Enter the vulnerable leader who makes it OK to not be perfect and not have all the answers. Of course we respect those who are smart, intelligent, and have insights from experience. However, the best ones have revealing stories about the mistakes they’ve made and how they bounced back and learned from it. they openly surround themselves with people smarter than them in some area and learn to apply it to their own work or partner with that person to fill the gap.
Whatever you do, don’t mistake this person for a week and soft. Even in the midst of a vulnerable moment, if you threaten or minimize their core values and support of a deeper and noble mission, you will discover what it’s like to stand between a bear cub and its mother. If you are fortunate, this person will use the error as a teachable moment to help you connect your purpose and motivation to this deeper, noble mission.
One ads, the other multiplies. Now that I am north of 50 years old, I have become less patient with adding and realize the power of multiplying. We really don’t know how long we will have to influence the people we lead. Why waste our time with adding by telling, selling, and hoping it’s gelling? Why not instead listen, ask, and build leaders who will extend our work beyond the limits of one person?
Sometimes this requires being vulnerable and not having all the answers. Then displaying your backbone about what is most important in helping others learn how to flex their backbone to support a noble mission, vision, values, and goals. If people don’t see these things in you, where else will they learn it? This seeming paradox of vulnerability and a backbone is the source of deep resilience much like humility and greatness.
It starts with you, but if you do it right it won’t end with you. It will keep on multiplying across many beautiful and glorious lives investing in other people.
